What is sexy? How do you explain words to a second grader? And way too much more.

November 8, 2011

in My Kids, personal

I need help explaining words to my son. The boy is 7 (and a half!) and while his handwriting is awful, his brain isn’t. He reads more and more words each day and makes me so proud. Until he reads a word that he doesn’t know, then all heck breaks loose.

The boy: Mom, what does sarcastic mean?
Me: Um.
The boy: *blinking
Me: Let’s go ask your father. He’ll know *just* how to explain it (said sarcastically, yet the sarcasm is lost on the boy).

This morning I was hit by another one of these little gems. I was in my pajamas with my hair not yet brushed. It’s vital or I’d lie. Either way, I’m in his room waking him up. Then I go to her room to wake her up. Back and forth a few times until they’re vertical and talking. Oh the talking.

This is how the talking went this morning:

Me: Get your clothes on, boy. It’s already 7:20 and you know the bus waits for no-one.
The boy: You look sexy.
Me: What? Well, thank you but what?
The boy: Giggling. I said sexy.
Me: Why.
The boy: What does sexy mean?
Me: *blinking

I had no answer and daddy wasn’t home. So I said that it was like pretty but way more adult than that. It’s an adult word and really not one for kids to talk about. He asked why and I said, adult word and walked out of the room.

I’d say crisis averted, but I know that it’s just getting started!!!!!
What do you say when questioned by either your kid or another about something that they shouldn’t really know yet?

Oh I have a story for this. It’s not as kid-friendly as the blog is so I’ll have to substitute some words here.
I was in 8th grade. At my best friend’s house for a party of some sort. (Ursula, you have to remember this, right?) It was fall, but really can’t recall the date or occasion. My first real boyfriend and I were there together. We’d been dating for about 8 months or so and for a 14 year old that was about forever. For some reason or another we got into a verbal dispute. Words were said, feelings were hurt, but the way the fight ended is what I remember. He was yelling and I yelled back at him, “Don’t have an Org@$m” (this was my cleaning it up a bit part – the “big” O is what I meant. I can say no more and keep this clean). He bust out laughing. I didn’t get what I had done that was so funny, so I demanded to know what he was laughing at. He was like you don’t know what that word means, do you? I said what word. He said the “O” word. (he said the real word). I was like, I assumed it meant like “Don’t have a cow” or something like that. He assured me that it wasn’t something I really should be going around saying. The fight ended because he was laughing so hard and now I was curious.

Much like my current 7 year old I had used a word that I didn’t know what it meant, but I’d be darned if I was going to do that again.I marched into my bestie’s house and looked right at her mom.

Me: Mrs. M, what does Org@$m mean?
Mrs. M: Whyyyyy?
Me:I just told J to not have one and he laughed at me.
Mrs. M: I need more context than that.
Me:Ugh. *Told her whole story*
Mrs. M: Go ask your mother.

See, I learned my response to these things quite organically (another O word that I do know) and while I was 14 and very naive, I didn’t give up. At home that night I talked to my mom. I asked her what it meant.

She made me go get the dictionary to look it up!

This was before google, before smart phones, and I went and got the big printed dictionary from the living room and brought it to my bedroom to read the definition aloud to her.

I would define it for you but either you know what the gist of it is or you don’t. Today we have google and I’m not about to google THAT word.

So I read it to her and she said, do you understand? I was like no way do I understand, that was a bunch of words, what does it really mean? She was like, it’s an adult word. It has to do with s-e-x and you will have to just worry about it when you’re older. I am pretty sure I got a little embarassed at that point, but mostly about having told J not to have one. Dear me, what had I done? If I recall this wasn’t spoke of again by him or me, at least not to each other.

I, on the other hand, just told you and who knows how many people out there on the internet. Oh and J’s mom is a facebook fan of my blog, so I’m sure the story will somehow get back to him and he too will laugh about it. I know I would. I also know that he has kids of his own now too and they’re a little younger than mine so his day will be coming soon enough to have to answer those questions. Or he can do what I’ve been doing which is pawn it off on the other parent.

I can’t wait for daddy to get home today! He’s going to *love* this.
Yes, I said that sarcastically which the boy still doesn’t understand.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Graphoniac November 8, 2011 at 9:48 AM

LOL! My mom was a fan of the dictionary too. I can’t tell you how many times I heard “go look it up” as the answer! I’ll probably do the same to my girl later…but I don’t know about how to explain such things to the little, little ones.. good luck, Love! :)

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Manda November 8, 2011 at 12:48 PM

I love this story so much.

I wish I had an answer for you on the “define sexy to a 7 year old boy front.” Find answers before Eddie starts asking the same question!!! LOL

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Elisa November 8, 2011 at 2:23 PM

ROFL! This is awesome. Thanks–I needed this today :)

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Riki November 8, 2011 at 3:44 PM

Thanks guys! I assume you knew why Justin Timberlake was the photo, but if not it’s because he’s the likely one who introduced that word to many kids. He did bring sexy back, afterall.
Either way, I’m going to talk to daddy when he gets home and I can hope the boy will drop this but I also know there’s other boys at school who just likely made it way worse.

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