How to embarrass a 7 year old boy at the mall without even trying.

December 9, 2011

in My Kids

Whoops! That’s all I can say to start this one out.

The other day I posted on our facebook wall about a new Victoria’s Secret promotion where you can win a gift card from their facebook app tab. Well, I am not here to talk about that, but let’s just say that I won a $10 gift card from them and wanted to spend it. So, I did what any other mom would do and packed up the kids and headed to the mall. It was a weeknight, so we did homework and went to the mall. We had other mall stores to visit, so we were speeding through our stops.

Stop #3 on our list was Victoria’s Secret and well, it was a whole new experience for my kids. Normally I buy any of the perfume scenty things at Bath and Body Works, so I was unfamiliar with the entrances at Vicky’s. I was about 5 steps into the store when the boy speaks out in a shaky voice, “Um, Mommy.

I was like “what boy, come on we’re in a hurry!” He came to me but was following way too close. I turned around and asked him why he was following me so close and his reply was this, “Mommy – there are BRAS everywhere! What is this place?

That’s when I realized that my boy is not a baby, or a toddler, or a preschooler - he’s a boy. Like a boy who knows what bras are. He also knows this wasn’t a store for boys or men and he was very uncomfortable. He’s just a few months shy from being 8. Wow. I just didn’t take that into my mind when I went into that door. “Mommy, can we leave already?” I told him that they have lotions and perfume in an area that’s “bra-free” if only we could find it we’d be good. Thankfully we found the “bra-free” room quickly and then things were ok. The kids had fun letting me spray every scent on them and then sprayed a few on themselves. I realized right then that it had to be a shower night as they both didn’t need to go to school smelling like they had been in a perfume fight.

I got my spray (Vanilla, thankyouverymuch) and paid my $3.10 or so after coupon and left happy. We got to the food court and met daddy for dinner. The boy looked at daddy and said, “Daddy – we went to a bra store!” Daddy just cut me a look and I reminded him that I had a coupon to use at Vicky’s and that I kind of forgot to go in the proper door. He then asked the boy, “It was embarassing, wasn’t it?” and he said (while blushing), “Yes, Daddy it was.” and I apologized again for my mistake of dragging my 2nd grade son into the bra store. Then I laughed. Cheech was oblivious to why any of this mattered, but I’m just lucky she didn’t ask for a bra. I recall a kid in the boy’s kindergarten class telling me one afternoon that she had her first training bra. Yep, she was 5. I was like what? She said, I don’t want the boys in class to know, but see the strap here? Nice.

I couldn’t help but think about this scene from the Christmas Story. Not that he had anything like this on, but it’s the whole comment Ralphie thinks – “Aunt Clara had for years labored under the delusion that I was not only perpetually not only 4 years old, but also a girl.

Yep, he’s growing up and is a real boy and not a baby. Not that the massive amount of fart jokes and pokemon cards didn’t tell me that already. I just forgot. I won’t make that mistake again and now I’m aware of where the door is that’s for the scents only. Ya know, so I don’t have to embarrass the boy again next time.

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